He was easygoing, heat, humorous. He informed me we had been destined to be buddies, if not colleagues. I stated I felt like we already had been buddies, and he instantly agreed! He confided that he was aggravated that I used to be a greater author than he was however stated he’d recover from it although, by weeping over his Emmy. We shared the same smug attraction. I believed, So that is what it was wish to need to take care of a Michael Rovner.

I realized that, years earlier, once I had been a prolific journalist, he had commonly accepted compliments on my printed items. What might be extra Rovnerian than taking credit score for another person’s work, I believed. Over the years, I’ve written about being an alcoholic in restoration, being fired from my job as a personal detective and having spent half my life in remedy. Based on my lifetime of oversharing, I puzzled what these folks will need to have considered him. There was undoubtedly a element of the film “Fight Club” to this complete factor.

He, too, primarily glided by his surname, solely he pronounced it improper — ROWV-ner, as a substitute of RAHV-ner. I used to be knowledgeable that the Massachusetts and Iowa Rovners favored his fashion. I informed him that wasn’t how we did it in Philly. He informed me his ancestors hailed from Rivne, Ukraine, which had been Rovno, Poland, on the time. I stated that, every time I requested my grandparents, I used to be informed our household had come from Minsky-Pinsky, which was how folks in that technology had tried to place the previous behind it.

He stated he would suggest me for the job at his firm, however primarily as a result of they’d give him a $5,000 bonus for bringing in a brand new rent if I may final for 90 days. I informed him nothing would make me happier than enriching Michael Rovners’ financial institution accounts — a rising tide lifts all Michael Rovners. Should it work out, I promised to not sully our good identify. He recommended that, if I had been employed, I am going by any type of Michael that suited me. While this appeared like a significant concession on my half, since I used to be used to going by simply “Rovner,” I figured we’d work out the small print later. He stated he would ship “a hilarious Michael Rovneresque note” to the folks making the rent, including that the remainder was as much as me “and the ghosts of Michael Rovners past.”

At the beginning of my first interview, the hiring supervisor stated she had initially been perplexed. “I thought the Michael Rovner who already worked here was interviewing for this position,” she stated. I used to be delighted on the potential confusion this could unleash on the world.